It was first announced that A Movie would be made some years ago and fans of A Book have been eagerly anticipating its arrival ever since.
You may have heard of A Movie before. You may have seen a trailer for A Movie. You may have even typed furiously on A Movie’s online message boards, arguing futilely the casting choices made without your consultation. Well let me tell you, it’s finally here, and it’s A Movie.
The film begins as most others do: with its opening scene. The main characters, central conflict and theme of A Movie were all soon introduced; not only audibly but, in a surprising twist, visually as well.
There was disconcerting talk regarding the dialogue in A Movie, but I can say with certainty that the script was written and most likely edited. There were spells of improvisation from actors who earned more money from A Movie than I’ll ever see in my life. The way the dialogue was typed beforehand and subsequently delivered in front of a camera is nothing short of remarkable.
Another discussion point for many was the acting, or lack thereof. However, having sat through A Movie, I can assure you that the actors were pretending to be the characters they portrayed and did it with their whole bodies as well as their voices and minds.
A Movie was based on A Book and controversy soon reared its head surrounding the depiction of a tale that remains loved by many. The producer of A Movie was unavailable for comment due to an injury sustained after slipping on the tears of disappointed thirty-somethings.
Thanks to many years of movie-going experience, I was correct in my prediction that A Movie would end and was shortly followed by a black screen over which white text went ever upwards, revealing names of those presumably responsible for A Movie’s production.
I found A Movie to be a use of my time and would be satisfied in discussing it in pubs to fill the void of an uncomfortable silence.
by Harry Husbands